We all know that woman. She is strong and independent, turning heads the second that she walks into the room. Dominating anything that she sets her mind on, she is the definition of success. Refusing to be backed into a corner or forced to conform, you may find her in any walk of life – Ruling the boardroom, teaching the next generation at your local high school, or at home raising her children and maintaining complete order.
Known as an ‘Alpha women’ in many circles, she is the one that everyone else looks up to. From the outside looking in, she’s got it all figured out. There is nothing that she touches that she doesn’t turn to gold, and she does it all with a smile on her face. Handling whatever life throws her way with grace and confidence, she makes it look easy.
In many cases, she may have had to face a life more difficult than most. Life dealt her lemons, testing her strength and resolve and just daring her to give up. Instead, she stood tall, fire in her eyes, and refused to back down. An inspiration to many who know her, she gives the impression that there is nothing that she can’t handle.
When she is alone, however, there is another side of her that she will never allow others to see. Underneath the strong, bold exterior she hides away a vulnerable side, burying away her pain, struggles, and difficulties. It’s not that she doesn’t feel them, that couldn’t be more wrong. She experiences heartbreak, failure, betrayal, and disappointment every day, possibly even more so than those around her, but she tucks these feelings away replacing them with a renewed determination to care for everything and everyone around her.
When life comes crashing down and you don’t know what to do, she’s the one you call. She will always be there, without hesitation, reaching out a hand to help you get back on your feet and a shoulder to cry on. She speaks with wisdom and understanding, explaining why it is ok to not be okay for a short period of time so long as you get back up afterward and keep moving forward. Listening to you share all of life’s struggles, nothing scares her off. She will never complain about your need for support, instead, she encourages you to reach out, reminding you that is what loved ones are for. Yet despite all of this, she doesn’t share her own struggles and difficulties. She doesn’t tell you that she will go home that night and cry alone in her room. Her struggles aren’t her concern, she simply wants to make life better for those that she loves.
She refuses to allow life to keep her down, facing the criticism that inevitably follows a woman of strength and independence. She’s been called a bitch, had her authority questioned, and been told to change her ways to better fit society’s expectation of women. Shrugging it all off, she holds her head high and continues to march forward, motivating other women to follow in her path. She doesn’t whine or complain, after all, she’s got this – Right?
What you don’t see, what she won’t let you see, is that she secretly questions and doubts herself nearly every step of the way. She second guesses her abilities, and even entertains the idea that she may not actually be good enough. She is haunted each and every day by this inner voice, tearing her down and reminding her of her insecurities. However, she knows that there are more eyes on her than she can count, and she refuses to let anyone down. Painting on a confident smile, she buries away her fears and anxieties to be released only when she is in the safety of her own home.
Even her partner, if she has one, hasn’t seen the depth of her struggles. Her concern for their wellbeing and happiness takes top priority. As she does with her friends and family members, she will go out of her way to be there for them through thick and thin, showing love, support and compassion. Refusing to burden them with what she sees as ‘her problems,’ she continues to manage her own pain behind the scenes. It’s not that she doesn’t trust anyone else, she loves to a fault and fears that her pain will bring others down. Wanting nothing but the best for her loved ones, there is nothing that would upset her more than knowing that she is the reason that they feel pain.
There are days where she will wonder if she can keep going. She will question her faith, as she feels the overwhelming burden of her pain. She will long to call out for help, to cry out to the people around her, yet her mind won’t let her utter the words. Instead, she tucks it all safely out of sight once more, and stands up, brushing herself off, ready to face another day.